Local stories & crime

[Pliny Harris]

My all-time favourite was one I read as a kid on holiday in south Devon. A local vicar and his wife had bought some second hand VHS on stately homes, and to their horror when they put the tape in they found it was actually a porno. It spoke of the couple being "so disgusted" at the mistake that they "had to watch the entire thing together". I never saved the article so don't have a scan or owt, so just imagine me doing one of those half-chuckle half-sigh things to drive home how hilarious it was.

 

[Craig]

South Yorkshire's finest.

http://www.barnsley-chronicle.co.uk/news/article/12429/runaway-police-car-ended-up-on-roof

Animals....

http://www.barnsley-chronicle.co.uk/news/article/12405/thieves-steal-football-clubs-lawnmower

Stay tuned for 'Stolen tortoise leads to huge drugs haul' and 'local man rudely awoken by estranged son chewing off his ear'

 

[Craig]

Mystery of overturned police car solved...

http://www.barnsley-chronicle.co.uk/news/article/12552/police-car-tumble-blamed-on-hot-weather

 

[Stagat]

From the BBC

A council has reassured people that reports of migrants living in Sherwood Forest, killing deer and threatening people with knives, are "fantasy".

Nottinghamshire County Council received 700 complaints about the supposed migrant camps after far-right group Britain First mounted a campaign.

The claims were originally reported in the Mansfield Chad, along with a photo of a treehouse.

A group of young people later confirmed they built the treehouse in 2010.

The BBC has contacted Britain First but has yet to receive a response.

Mansfield Chad investigates - including the following quotes from Edwinstowe man Alan Daniels, who did not give his real name

“They’re chopping down trees, killing pheasant and my friend Richard has seen them with a deer hanging.”

“I found some playing cards with ‘Sports Direct’ on them,” he said.

“I’ve come across them making fires and sleeping out, and I’ve told them to clear off."

“Always Fosters,” said Alan as he picked through the litter.

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

"Can you get Bob down in graphics to pixelate this dog neck for me?"

"Consider it done"

 

[Stevencc]

Is Bob the dedicated graphics man or is he more of a dogsbody?

 

[SALTIRE]

Dundee road rage woman could dodge jail - if she can prove knitting prowess :

A Dundee woman has been given six months to knit her way out of a prison sentence.


The bizarre challenge was laid down to Angela McCabe after she pleaded guilty to a vicious road rage attack.

The 47-year-old admitted boxing in her victim’s car, hauling open her drivers’ side door and punching her in the face following an argument over her driving.

McCabe, however, denied tailing her victim for several miles through the city’s streets, claiming that the pursuit had been a coincidence and that she was simply a “keen knitter” who happened to have been driving to a specialist wool shop near to where the assault took place.

Leaping on that claim, Sheriff John Rafferty told her she must return to Dundee Sheriff Court in December having knitted numerous items capable of being sold in charity shops to raise money for good causes.

He said her ability and willingness to do so could be the difference between prison and a sentence of community service.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/new...-rage-woman-given-six-months-knit-way-prison/

 

[Craig]

Not a local story but this one tickled me a bit.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36781296

 

[AFCB_Mark]

The Bournemouth Echo has some odd ones currently:

Pokemon GO is now live in UK so where are Bournemouth's pokestops?

£10k stainless steel crocodile stolen from man-made island

Charity worker attacked pensioner at ABBA tribute night, court told

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Is Bob the dedicated graphics man or is he more of a dogsbody?

 

[Krazy8]

This guff is back page news

Yeah, absolutely fucking enthralling mate.

 

[blade1889]

This guff is back page news View attachment 5001
Yeah, absolutely fucking enthralling mate.

Guess we all know Martino's really name know anyway

 

[Habbinalan]

"....Spate of egg thefts in Cambridgeshire triggers police probe
Police have received three reports of eggs being stolen from a road-side stall

A spate of egg thefts and men with dogs spotted in Cambridgeshire carrying hares are being investigated.

These are two incidents being investigated by police covering the Somersham area.

Police have received three reports of eggs being stolen from a road-side stall on Wistow Road, Broughton, on Tuesday, November 8 and Thursday, November 10.

A force spokesman said: “One car in particular has been mentioned, and investigations to determine if this vehicle is involved in the thefts are underway.”

In Woodhurst, at 2.30pm on Friday, November 4, police received a report of two males dressed in jeans and hooded tops, accompanied by three dogs, seen walking across a field carrying hares.

A police patrol was diverted to search the area, but no-one matching the descriptions could be found.

Call police on 101 with information......."

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/new...e-egg-thefts-cambridgeshire-triggers-12163044

 

[Stagat]

I swear Easter starts earlier every year.

 

[mnb089mnb]

Someone in Bristol tried to post a cake

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/half-b...stol-postbox/story-29904225-detail/story.html

 

[Aber gas]

http://m.bristolpost.co.uk/will-any...shead-marina/story-30031271-detail/story.html

 

[mnb089mnb]

Norwich local news. January 1845

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Something Must Be Done

 

[Stevencc]

Antoine Omisore really delivers the hard-hitting news.

He just doesn't shift away from hardcore journalist mode, even in his spare time...

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

If Twitter has been around back in the day HL Mencken would've fucken loved cat memes.

 

[Habbinalan]

 

[Leo]

'Interfering with a tractor'......Wtf....was he tampering with the brake fluid, loosening wheel nuts or perhaps sniffing the red diesel ?.....

Tractor porn indeed......

 

[DarkSithLord]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-38838653

 

[eightiesrobin]

I saw this and thought of SALTIRE

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-39222434

 

[Leo]

I saw this and thought of SALTIRE

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-39222434

...

........just for info (useless), to the right of the court building there is a pub called the Roman Bar...occasionally nicked in for a pint after finishing my run as a postie years ago.

 

[SALTIRE]

I saw this and thought of SALTIRE

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-39222434

Port Ellen and Brora whiskies at that, some of the best of the best there!

 

[eightiesrobin]

£40K in whiskey for a £1400 debt? Not convinced.

Ever tried either of those Salty? Out of interest, where is the market for the expensive stuff? Overseas?

 

[SALTIRE]

£40K in whiskey for a £1400 debt? Not convinced.

Ever tried either of those Salty? Out of interest, where is the market for the expensive stuff? Overseas?

Tried them, I wish! Both of the distilleries that made those whiskies are now mothballed which makes the dwindling stocks of them rarer and rarer and hence they become collectors whiskies these days. They are supposed to be seriously good stuff however, right up there with old Macallan (though they trade on their reputation these days over the quality of the stuff they produce).

There is a lot of people all over the world investing in vintage whiskies just the same as vintage wines, and though its mostly from people investing in them from outside the UK, there is a big market here too I believe. A lot of it is bought on the name of the whiskies and the supposed quality of them at a certain age or time, but a lot of whisky enthusiasts who drink the stuff not collect it, will tell you that most of them are way overpriced and that a lot of speculators won't make a lot out of their purchases because the market is saturated and there is very few truly astonishing stuff left as time passes. Even hedge funds are in on the act these days speculating, and the fake whisky market is rife apparently.

I don't know enough about it as yet tbh, but I doubt I'll ever become a collector, as I just want to drink the stuff and life is too short to hold on to it - and there is better things to invest in anyway if you want to make money out of doing that so I don't see the point.

 

[Leo]

I just want to drink the stuff and life is too short to hold on to it

Exfuckingzactly mate!

 

[Leo]

I saw this and thought of SALTIRE

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-39222434

Another bit of useless info....I've just read the court section of our local rag and Mr McLean received a sentence of 200 hours of unpaid work to be undertaken. To be honest I have no idea why the word 'unpaid' has to be included....it's not as if he should be convicted of reset then actually paid to complete his sentence.....but that actually wouldn't surprise me the way the justice system runs up here.