How football ruined my life - Blog by ex-professional footballer battling depression.

[Footballruinedmylife]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015/10/01/lies-existing-and-anything-in-between/

My latest blog about the little white lies we tell, when we have depression.

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

My anonymity was so I could be honest and open about my career and troubles. I'm not ashamed or anything like that but I thought it read better anonymously. People have been kind enough to DM if they think they have guessed who I am and I appreciate them respecting my anonymity.

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015/10/14/the-struggle-goes-on/

On it goes. Relentless.

 

[Baz]

You know one thing that I found brilliant? A mens group. A friend of mine had setup a mens group, where it was just a group of men chatting, nothing more nothing less. Unfortunately that's not always possible in lots of areas.

One thing i'm struggling with at the moment in the boy child, who is 8, is having major behavioural issues and we've been told he will be on the ASD spectrum, but it takes forever to get anywhere with anyone. It's bloody ridiculous. Which in turn is having a negative effect on my MH.

I will say this though, if you do want to chat with someone who's been through it all please feel free to DM me. I have little interest in knowing who you are, but I am interested in supporting you get through this. The option is there if you have the courage to share.

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/just-how-many-are-struggling/

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Recent events that have happened to a family member have made me realise how awful the mental health care is in this country. After her mother signed her up to be sectioned, they overturned it and sent her home.

This, after she was walking around with a knife, cut herself with some scissors, took a massive overdose, tried to run away from the hospital assaulting a nurse and a police officer in the process, mumbling to herself, thinking tv programs are about her, saying that her son was dead, thinking people around the area want her dead and a fair few other things, they've decided she's not in need of urgent mental health care after suffering for years with depression also.

Luckily regarding the assault her dad has managed to convince the nurse and officer to drop charges against her. No idea what she'll do next to be honest, from what I've heard, it wouldn't surprise me if she was back in hospital again in the next week or so. Pathetic.

 

[ArmchairDiehard]

Both the above posts are very close to home for me.

Very hard to read.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

She has since taken another overdose, and their response? Send her home under supervision from her mother with counselling.

 

[HertsWolf]

It's not just mental health care. As a nation we are becoming immune to the problems of poverty, the elderly, the homeless, those seeking work and kids who aren't straight A students. There is a political ethos focused almost entirely on economics with little regard for the social, environmental and spiritual well-being of the country.

I was saddened to see that 6% of people - and 10% of those over 65 - will spend Christmas Day alone. More than a quarter of Britain's population has felt loneliness at some stage, and I understand this is a growing phenomenon.

Over two centuries, Britain established an unparalleled network of shared spaces and services that improved peoples' welfare and well-being, from libraries and community centres to playing fields and commons, meeting halls, universal health care and a safety net that is being eroded for seemingly simple cost-savings.

I do hope we are doing the right thing, but I suspect we will come to regret the closures and sell-offs.

 

[eightiesrobin]

She has since taken another overdose, and their response? Send her home under supervision from her mother with counselling.

That's a shocking outcome, but it doesn't really surprise me at all, sadly. I hope things work out for everyone, sincerely.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Thanks mate, I'm really not too hopeful right now to be honest.

 

[Baz]

Our MH system and all round support system has been bollocks for years. My boy has mental health issues but we can't get the help we need until the school provide a report and a educational psychologist does a report, the school aren't playing ball so we are getting zero help when the boy needs it. The idiotic child has done things like self dosed on calpol (Which was on top of a cupboard that I need a stool to reach and i'm 6ft) he's stolen a pair a scissors and chopped holes in curtains and clothes, not to mention the stealing of food fresh and frozen yet no help at all until these reports are done unless he's threatening self harm then they'll do something, utter bollocks system that needs changing.

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015/12/06/its-coming/

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2016/01/23/scared/

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

Post removed by admin.

 

[Footballruinedmylife]

ya know it's sad and all that u have depression but it's quite rude to just post a link and fuck off. it's just sad spam. you're not having a dialogue or anything. lots of people have battled depression and it's good to share and all, but it's just ego with u u ain't responded to anyone else's post and it is the same in the other mental health thread too when u just posted a link with no discussion

until u do a little give and take i have reported your posts and will continue to, i am not angry, just a tad disappointed

ian, future mod

x

You are entitled to your opinion. It has zero to do with ego. I'm a failed footballer who can't function in everyday life, so quite why I need an ego boost from a forum is beyond me. The blog is a way of documenting my battle and my struggle. I'm sorry you view it as 'sad spam' but I posted it on this forum for two reasons. 1) It is a football forum. The blog gives an insight into how being a footballer isn't always a positive career.
2) I have no figures but I presume the majority of readers on here are male. If even one is able to get help with their mental health then for me that's a positive.

Until I get myself well enough to function my opinion on mental health is not relevant as it makes me a hypocrite. Hence why I don't join in the discussion.

If the mods want to delete the thread as they feel it is spam then I'm sure they will. Anyone who has read the blog in detail will realise just how bad a place I am in. Whether it is classed as 'sad spam' is frankly the least of my worries.

 

[mistermagic]

You really are a knob Ian.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

You really are a knob [sic] Ian.

great contribution there, chief

 

[TractorBoys]

I suggest you stay out of this thread Ian or you'll be due a holiday.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

are u gonna delete the post where that frenchman called me a nob? or are u incapable of doing anything right? seeing that u did delete carel's post not a minute after he posted it

 

[Stagat]

Stop being a c*** Ian.

 

[ZianfrancoGoal]

he wants his free holiday

 

[mistermagic]

If Ian gets banned, I call shotgun on his awards.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

If Ian gets banned, I call shotgun on his awards.

3rd place least football knowledge was rightfully yours tbf

 

[Son of Cod]

You are entitled to your opinion. It has zero to do with ego. I'm a failed footballer who can't function in everyday life, so quite why I need an ego boost from a forum is beyond me. The blog is a way of documenting my battle and my struggle. I'm sorry you view it as 'sad spam' but I posted it on this forum for two reasons. 1) It is a football forum. The blog gives an insight into how being a footballer isn't always a positive career.
2) I have no figures but I presume the majority of readers on here are male. If even one is able to get help with their mental health then for me that's a positive.

Until I get myself well enough to function my opinion on mental health is not relevant as it makes me a hypocrite. Hence why I don't join in the discussion.

If the mods want to delete the thread as they feel it is spam then I'm sure they will. Anyone who has read the blog in detail will realise just how bad a place I am in. Whether it is classed as 'sad spam' is frankly the least of my worries.

We all know who you are anyway

 

[Son of Cod]

are u gonna delete the post where that frenchman called me a nob? or are u incapable of doing anything right? seeing that u did delete carel's post not a minute after he posted it

No, it's kind of alright to call someone a retard on here so I can't see nob being a problem.

Poster creates numerous forms of content and doesn't really respond? If only there was a similar poster on 1ff who did this, then we could see how others react and gauge whether Ian actually has a point or not...

 

[sl1k]

Ian made a valid point about posting and fucking off. It's fair to think it comes across as some kind of self promotion when you don't partake in the discussion.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

r u following me around? i apologise profusely for that btw. it was out of line and i didn't mean to allude to anything

 

[Son of Cod]

I have never and will never vouch for the entire Ian brand. I'm agreeing with him by saying that if you make a post you should at least make some kind of attempt to reply to those you take the time to comment. The issue of what words are/aren't acceptable on here is wider and certainly not Ian based.

 

[Aber gas]

I have never and will never vouch for the entire Ian brand. I'm agreeing with him by saying that if you make a post you should at least make some kind of attempt to reply to those you take the time to comment. The issue of what words are/aren't acceptable on here is wider and certainly not Ian based.

Some of the language and personal politics on here shocks me sometimes. Some of the terms used in the name of "banter" are just not acceptable to me. I'm not a delicate flower but the casual misogyny, racism and homophobia is shameful although not as shameful as the excuses used for it. " banter" "I'm working class" " you can't say anything these days"
Back on topic( sorry) I find it a bit odd that the original poster doesn't really interact with people on the thread but if his posts are helping him in even a small way then it's a good thing. I hope that when he gets further into his recovery he can interact a bit more and perhaps use his experience to help others that are struggling.