Clubs in this league in Size Order

Cheese & Biscuits said:

MK Dons seem to be a bit low on a lot of these lists. Considering they're about 10 years old, you can't rate them based on the usual methods so you have to think outside the box and use a bit of artistic license.

I can see them being in the top flight a lot sooner and a lot longer than half the teams in this league and would put them middle of the bottom half.

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They're a fucking abomination of a club and let's be reyt their fanbase is still fucking wank

The odds for next season are ridiculous. We are only 9-1 to get promoted again

Our cocks fucking huge, just a little limp at the moment.

Calypso said:

Our cocks fucking huge, just a little limp at the moment.

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Only when you're doing well, it's like a fucking walnut when you're shit.....

At this point in time we're all equal aren't we?

Leeds massive. Wednesday massive. Wolves massive. Forest massive.

But we won the double in 1888 so

SirTomFinney said:

Leeds massive. Wednesday massive. Wolves massive. Forest massive.

But we won the double in 1888 so

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Yeah, when Queen Victoria was on the throne...

El Guapo said:

Taking into account each club’s average league finish, league attendances, trophies, recent success, and relative potential. I'd say...

Leeds United
Wolverhampton Wanderers
Sheffield Wednesday
Nottingham Forest
Derby County
Blackburn Rovers
Birmingham City
Middlesbrough
Bolton Wanderers
.

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"....he says, through extremely gritted teeth."

Walkley_Owl said:

They're a fucking abomination of a club and let's be reyt their fanbase is still fucking wank

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You're not going to be happy if MK Dons are promoted to the PL, are you? Especially if they do it on shedloads of new/Russian money.

El Guapo said:

Yeah, when Queen Victoria was on the throne...

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You can never take away our history

I like this thread, the vast majority of us haven't won anything of worth since the Cold War. It's like 'we've been shit for 50 years but we won the double in 1947 so were massive'.

We got to northern final of the JPT last year. Got to be worth some points in terms of massiveness

HertsWolf said:

You're not going to be happy if MK Dons are promoted to the PL, are you? Especially if they do it on shedloads of new/Russian money.

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Nope i'd fucking hate it, i'd happily shit on Winkleman!

markwwfc1992 said:

I like this thread, the vast majority of us haven't won anything of worth since the Cold War. It's like 'we've been shit for 50 years but we won the double in 1947 so were massive'.

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If someone claims to have done the double in 1947, they're fucking lying because we won the FA cup. Massive.

markwwfc1992 said:

I like this thread, the vast majority of us haven't won anything of worth since the Cold War. It's like 'we've been shit for 50 years but we won the double in 1947 so were massive'.

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We've only been shit for 40 years actually.

When deciding ‘size order’ there are many factors to be taken into account.
As well as ground size, historic attendances, average penis size and footballing achievements, surely an important indicator of how big a club is will be the names of the Owner/Chairman & CEO. Big clubs have big names in the key positions.
I propose the following Championship league table.

1. Vincent & Ken (Cardiff).
Classic names, smelling of brown, wet leather footballs with laces.
2. Peter & John (Preston)
Good strong Biblical blokes’ names. You can smite with these names.
3. Tony & Steve (Rotherham)
Powerful, manly names…but this could be the highpoint of the 2015-16 season for the Millers.
4. Eddie & Anthony (Bolton)
Eddie’s a classic, and could have been pushing for automatic promotion if Anthony called himself Tony. Or Derek.
5. Tony & Paul (Brighton)
Sound like barbers. And a sense of mid-80s Liverpool back four.
6. Dejphon & Paul (Weds)
Mixing the enigmatic and the mundane: one name sounds like a Motorola phone brand and the other sounds Thai.
7. Anuradha & Derek (Blackburn)
They could have been up there in the automatic places, but a bit headless.
8. Steve & Neil (Boro)
Almost play-off material. Steven might have made it, but not Steve.
9. Dean & Nigel (Huddersfield)
A pleasant blend of 1960s suburbia and ice-skating act.
10.Ernst & Young (Birmingham City)
Classic Hong Kong names.
11.Steve & John (Bristol City)
Limp. In Bristol you expect classic sea-faring names, like Manuel or Jose.
12.Matthew & Mark (Brentford)
Having two Gospel authors doesn’t get you promoted, but does possibly help with feeding the 5,000 fans and baptisms of fire.
13.Fawaz & Lalou (Forest)
Championship? Or successful magician and his charming assistant?
14.Massimo & Massimo (Leeds)
Mid-level performance, but feels more Italian family chiropodists than Championship football
15.Samrit & Nigel (Reading)
Surprisingly poor performance from the Royals. Not edgy enough.
16.Tony & Lee (QPR)
A comedy double act, but – fair play to them both – a smooth one.
17.Mike & Lee (Burnley)
A Northern comedy ventriloquist act: Gurnley, home of witty ganter.
18.Steve & Jez (Wolves)
Languishing because of the affected Jez bit. Smells of Range Rover, but then Jeremy would be worse.
19.Shahid & Alistair (Fulham)
Exotic and spicy name, dampened only by being paired with a run-of-the-mill Arabic name.
20.Assem & Matt (Hull)
Global international brands need new international names…like Eddie & Dave or Nobby & Stella. But Matt?
21.Andrew & Sam (Derby)
Corporate. Sounds like two names born to be vicars, hedge fund managers or salesmen at a moderately successful Vauxhall dealer.
22.Roland & Katrien (Charlton)
Relegated for the Roland, which best suits a Dutch kids party magician; propped up by the glamour of Euro-female name, but not enough.
23.Marcus & Ian (Ipswich)
No sparkle. No showmanship, no Northern grit, just a line of polished Mondeos and a free LG dishwasher. Disastrous season.
24.Pete & Darren (MK Dons)
No. Just no. Be grateful it isn’t Pete & Berni. Back to L1.

[Difficult to always get owner/chairman & CEO, so sometimes it’s the COO or CFO or Club Secretary]

HertsWolf said:

13.Fawaz & Lalou (Forest)
Championship? Or successful magician and his charming assistant?
14.Massimo & Massimo (Leeds)
Mid-level performance, but feels more Italian family chiropodists than Championship football

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Brilliant.

Ours is spot on as well, hard to imagine something more insipid.

1. Leeds
2. Wednesday
3. Forest
4. Derby
5. Wolves
6. Middlesbrough
7. Blackburn
8. Bolton
9. Ipswich
10. Birmingham
11. Charlton
12. Hull
13. Cardiff
14. Fulham
15. QPR
16. Burnley
17. Preston
= Bristol City
19. Brighton
20. Huddersfield
21. Reading
22. Brentford
23. Rotherham
24. MK Dons

StevieEvansRedNWhiteArmy said:

I'd have us third bottom but the one or two who have MK Dons or Brentford above us in some lists, seriously need their heads testing.

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It’s borderline but I would still rank Brentford just that bit higher…

Brentford have a marginally higher average attendance record, more years in the top tier (albeit less in the 2nd), and have fared better in the FA Cup.

Walkley_Owl said:

Only when you're doing well, it's like a fucking walnut when you're shit.....

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Mines still bigger than yours "nerrr"....

Calypso said:

Mines still bigger than yours "nerrr"....

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Older and more trophies nerrr

TheWednesday said:

For a 1 club city Leeds support is pretty bad.

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Not for the money we pay. Look at revenue at end of season in ticket sales not bums on seats. You lot collectively don't come as away fans you don't want to pay £36 (away fans words not mine...so there's your reason pal)

No bring a kid for a quid or a mate for a fiver at ER.

(Away support is better indicator cos that's the same for everyone...or no its not as Leeds pay A+ prices there too!)

Ay up Jose BTW...

markwwfc1992 said:

Reading have done a lot in the last 10-15 years, on recent history they've been more successful than most if not all teams in this league.

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I can accept everything else, but putting us below Huddersfield...

The Southbank said:

I can accept everything else, but putting us below Huddersfield...

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Take the last 10-15 years away and reading are lower than the millers
Take the last 100 years away and huddersfilled would be too

Millerski said:

Take the last 10-15 years away and reading are lower than the millers
Take the last 100 years away and huddersfilled would be too

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I'm pretty well read on my football, but I couldn't name a single notable thing that Rotherham have ever done.

The Southbank said:

I'm pretty well read on my football, but I couldn't name a single notable thing that Rotherham have ever done.

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Managed to Beat Arsenal in the FA cup perhaps ...

The highlight of Rotherham FC is beating Arsenal in the FA Cup?

I think Wrexham did that too...

markwwfc1992 said:

The highlight of Rotherham UNITED FC is beating Arsenal in the FA Cup?

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Of course second only to our 6-0 FA cup thrashing of wolves

Depthcharge said:

Not for the money we pay. Look at revenue at end of season in ticket sales not bums on seats. You lot collectively don't come as away fans you don't want to pay £36 (away fans words not mine...so there's your reason pal)

No bring a kid for a quid or a mate for a fiver at ER.

(Away support is better indicator cos that's the same for everyone...or no its not as Leeds pay A+ prices there too!)

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You have offer games though, or did at least under GFH.

Btw turnover is vanity, profit is sanity.

Your gates are shit regardless for the size of Leeds, it's cheap enough in the ends of the stadium no?