League Two's Sexiest Manager: You Won't Believe How Much #4 Spends on Grooming Products!

[GTFCfish]

If some of these facts cut a bit close to the bone could SOC be sued for libel?

They are so close to the bone that even I'm considering suing him just for reading them.

 

[dedwardp]

Hold up, Harry Kewell is the manager of Crawley?

 

[Son of Cod]

Hold up, Harry Kewell is the manager of Crawley?

I also didn't know this until I started researching for this list!

 

[Son of Cod]

As the people appear to have requested some potential lawsuits, I’ll try to deliver with today’s entry....

18: Keith Curle

Two and a half years ago, Keith Curle’s marriage broke down amid an alcoholism problem spiralling wildly out of control. “I used to get home after training and stick my bermuda shorts on and head straight to my office, which I’d made into a make shift beach complete with sand and palm trees and crashing wave sounds over the speakers. I’d fire up my Mansfield Champo save and start drinking my own version of Pina Coladas the ‘Pina Curle-harder’. It was basically a large Pina Colada in a big 4 litre jug with added Smirnoff Ice, blue WKD, blue Aftershock, Red Bull, Drambuie and vodka. Every time I conceded a goal I would do some weights and get more ripped and every time I scored I would down some of my concoction. To be honest though, my favourite thing about playing Champo and drinking was putting the training settings for the youth team on dangerously high intense levels and watching all those little bastards break their legs. If one of them got injured for the whole season I would down the whole Pina Curle-harder jug and do 250 press ups to celebrate.” All good things must come to an end though, and as Curle realised he was bothering more about his Mansfield Championship Manager game than his real job, he decided it was time to stop boozing. “Champo was really boring sobre, so I had to go elsewhere to find some kids to bully. And even though, I’d somehow gotten away with what I did at Mansfield in real life, I was still a bit worried about getting in trouble again. My psychologist thinks my hatred of youth stems from the abuse I got for being dark skinned and grey haired while I lived in Mansfield.” Curle goes onto explain that kids would regularly ride past on school buses, hang out of the windows and shout “NELSON MANDELA” at him. “Moroccan Grandad, was another one they used to shout regularly, so I took that and ran with it by making it my grime name. The grime scene has really kicked off in Blackpool over the last few years and I’m pushing it hard in Cumbria. I was always into hiphop and garage and I love those classic Sidewinder sets with Dizzee and Wiley on the mic. That’s the kind of sound I’m going for, but while they’re talking about The Endz, my lyrics are more about Stevenage away and a state of discontent in the L2 manager scene about the impending lack of an out of transfer window loan market. Battles are what it’s really about though. They give me a creative platform to really vent my anger at the youngsters of today. I can verbally abuse kids as much as I want to in grime and nobody can ever take me to court for it.” Unfortunately for Curle, who was rated as very sexy by some of 1FF's L2 members, the Mansfield youth have come out in their masses and secured an unlikely revenge.
Ideal romantic getaway: Segway tour of the Norfolk broads in September/October
Favourite thing to shout during sex: "CAN YOU FEEL THE CURLE?!"
Love style: Stubborn

 

[PaulHaddock]

Curle in 18th, are you mental!?

 

[Son of Cod]

Curle in 18th, are you mental!?

 

[dog]

This is great!

 

[Youpies]

The Curle is the best yet. This is amazing

 

[cufc17]

"Everyone boycott this once-loved list. Son of Cod should be banned for this disgraceful racism"

 

[Vanni]

I still reckon the best one is Slade's, with Bentley's todger in second place.

 

[Luke Imp]

Pina-Curle-harder.

'kin hell.

 

[shoddycollins]

If some of these facts cut a bit close to the bone could SOC be sued for libel?

Unlikely as it being parody and not intended to be taken seriously is a legitimate defence against libel.

 

[gijsbert_bos]

Unlikely as it being parody and not intended to be taken seriously is a legitimate defence against libel.

Private Eye seem to get away with it.

 

[Son of Cod]

Announcement! Unfortunately, there might not be a sexy manager today. If you don't like that, then spare a thought for all those who are desperate for the official Grenfell death toll.

 

[Vanni]

 

[Big Bird]

Day ruined.

 

[Chris FGR]

View attachment 6659
"Everyone boycott this once-loved list. Son of Cod should be banned for this disgraceful racism"

Ikr, Curle below Artell and Brown? Wtf.

 

[lordofthepies]

I don't understand why Artell keeps getting a low rating. He's getting more handsome as he gets older. You people not seen him in his glasses?

 

[Son of Cod]

Today's entry will be a late night one, so please refrain from posting disappointed GIFs and saying mean things to/about me at 4pm.

 

[Big Bird]

 

[Son of Cod]

17: Michael Flynn

They call him the love doctor of Newport. In between saving the football club, he saves doomed relationships. "Did this one couple in March, took the guy to the side and says to him, I says "how nice are you being to her? Are you being too nice?" Gave him the proper Flynn Bin stare that I use on the County lads. "Yeah, I'm being well good to her" he says. Tried not to show my disdain, lowered my voice and says to him, I says "what about the...**(Flynn raises an eyebrow at this point and the leering smirk of menace inhabits his face)**...sex?" "Very romantic" he pipes up. "Very romantic?!" I says, "...listen, I want you to try monkey facin' her next time, yeah?" "Wh-what's that?" this lad says, and I'm thinking for fuck sake no wonder this sap is about to get dumped, "...it's when you're spidermanning her and..." AND he fucking interrupts me, "what's spidermanning?" he says. "Fuck me", I says. This is like when I first when into County and asked them if they even knew how many points they needed to stay up..."WHAT'S A POINT?" they said!! Same vacant look on their faces as there was on this numpty. Anyway, I says "spidermanning is when you're shaggin' her and you're about to blow your beans you pull out, spaff in your hand and flick it in her face like Spiderman's web. Yeah? Got that? Well to do the Monkey Face, you gotta do the Spiderman but you'll already have all your pubes shaved off and under the pillow, yeah? So AS SOON AS you Spiderman her, you grab the pubes from under the pillow and throw them onto the spider's web if you know what I mean? It might seem extreme but, trust me she is waiting for the Spiderman and you're too far gone for that to save you. Sometimes you have to do mental shit to save yourself." And I wasn't joking about that, I had to play Craig Reid a few times last season!"
Favourite power ballad: Total Eclipse of the Heart
FLYNNIE'S BONUS FUN FACT: Total Eclipse of the Heart was inspired by Gareth Ainsworth's favourite romance novel, Wuthering Heights
Proposed to his wife by: Flying a hang glider while wearing an LED lined jumpsuit and writing the words BE MINE FOREVER in the night sky over Newport Bay as the lucky lady looked on from below
Love style: Methodical

 

[Chris FGR]

Monkey face lol. From experience spidermanning doesn't always go down as well as you think it might. But Flynn clearly knows his stuff so maybe my missus will like it more with the added pubes. She's in for a surprise treat tonight

 

[BeesKnees]

Christ knows what the post for our gymnast is going to be.

 

[GTFCfish]

Just about to eat my breakfast and I'm really pleased that I read this thread first.

 

[Si Robin]

Wow, just..........WOW!!

 

[rudebwoyben]

Christ knows what the post for our gymnast is going to be.

I'm sure that Rossi's gymnast skills give him an adventurous love style!

 

[Son of Cod]

I'm sure that Rossi's gymnast skills give him an adventurous love style!

Have you been reading my notes?

 

[Youpies]

Having read this. I need to take drastic and immediate action to save my marriage

 

[GTFCfish]

I'm looking forward to reading Danny Cowley's love style = mirrored ceiling.

 

[shoddycollins]

I'm looking forward to reading Danny Cowley's love style = mirrored ceiling.

Surely rather than going to the expense of that he could just duct-tape Nicky to the ceiling.